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My family and I have been privileged to travel to Europe
from time to time in the past. Each time we have travelled with at least one
child, but our record is four. We were
younger, and airfares used to be a whooooole lot cheaper (I still remember
wistfully buying one non-stop round ticket from St. Louis to Paris for
$198). This upcoming pilgrimage to
Santiago de Compostela will be the first trip that we will make without young
children.
One of the things I’ve learned the hard way over time is
that I am not able to have things as I would want them, simply because I want
them, or even simply because I try to make them that way. If age makes me lose my mental focus (it
seems that I am forever careening from one present-tense moment to the next,
lucid at any one time but clueless as to the journey) it surely drives home the
reality of my inability to “fix” things. This of course is part of God’s
wonderful plan. It isn’t my plan of salvation; they really aren’t “my” kids,
“my” job, “my” friends, etc. Ditching
the idea that I save myself, even temporally speaking, is a must-learn lesson
that leads to dependence upon the One Person who is able to save it all.
So, we are preparing to walk the Camino de Santiago, which
is one of my long-time goals. Think of
George Bailey– practically 3/4 of that movie was George telling everyone he was
going to travel the world, thinking about traveling, and taking some steps to
bring it about. And for one reason or another it never comes off. Until now, I’ve been the Camino George
Bailey. Substitute the Camino de
Santiago for George’s Grand Tour and you can understand how much I’ve bored and
annoyed friends, family and sometimes total strangers over the years.
And planning a trip is nearly as exciting as taking
one. I take particular delight in making
sure hotels, flights, trains, tickets and all the minutiae of travel are
covered. Don’t believe me? Ask Methodist Jim sometime how early I arrive
at a train station in the middle of nowhere so I couldn’t possibly miss a
connection. And what better trip to plan
than the Camino?
As many have pointed out before, the pilgrimage is a
metaphor for life. I try to plan all the
connections in life, too. I love doing
it. I want to save my own soul and
everyone else’s. I want to plan my day
and yours, too. I want to know if
Benedict’s abdication is valid, if the Dubia will ever be answered, who the
next Vicar of the Oratory will be, and whether LeSean McCoy is over his leg
injury.
And like in life, my wife (for blogging purposes I’ll call
her “Sharon”) simply lives well and does well, and makes sure all my planning
is not in vain. It is my packing list,
perhaps– but guess who actually packs it?
It might be my idea to travel here or there with children (to benefit
them, wink), but guess who actually makes that possible? I want to visit this or that place, but guess
who actually makes those visits enjoyable and worthwhile? These questions answer themselves. And I don’t mean to imply that Sharon is a
passive participant; she has a plan of her own when mine are too insane.
But, back to the title of the post– Letting Go. This is no ordinary trip, it is not first and
foremost a vacation. We have a purpose on this journey– several concrete prayer
intentions that we are hoping God will grant.
And again, the pilgrimage is a metaphor for life.
This trip is different, even in the conception and planning
of it. We are going with another couple
(for blogging purposes I’ll call them “Ed” and “Mary”). It seems like a good fit for this enterprise.
They have hiking and outdoorsy experience but have never traveled to Europe;
Sharon and I have European culture and way-of-doing-things down, and I have
some functional Spanish skills. When it
comes to the planning and execution of trips, their skills seem to be similarly
alloted between husband and wife, but as if on steroids. Speaking just for me and not my lovely bride,
they are holier and more competent than I am.
I find that the planning, the connections, lodging, the gear, the
schedule, the preparation–all of my normal slate of duties– are being done for
me, and done well at that. All I have to do is to accept it; since they are
very kind people, our input is genuinely sought, but I have no doubt they could
plan the whole thing by themselves and hand us our bags at the airport and all
would be well.
The pilgrimage is a metaphor for life. Who wouldn’t want a
guide and friend to lead one safely on the way?
God has a plan. He sends us help. Why would I not leap eagerly at that,
instead of viewing it as a cross that I’m not the one doing it? That I am not
saving myself? Letting go of planning
this Camino is just the simplest of ways of reinforcing that I need to let go
of having my way on the journey of life. And why not, when the Person planning
it has my interests in mind better than I could, and will bring it about better
than I could? The question, again, answers itself.
Time to let go.
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