23 March 2007

Where would you rather be? Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

From the St. Louis Review, Friday, March 23, 2007:

The archdiocesan Commission for Ecumenical and Interreligious Affairs is among sponsors of the Women’s Interfaith Conference, to be held from 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Wednesday, March 28, at Congregation Shaare Emeth, Ladue and Ballas roads.

Wow. That sounds great. Just imagine....

Now, this is precisely the kind of thing that makes chills go up and down my spine, and really, just sort of sucks the will to live right out of me.
That got me to thinking, though. Where else would I rather be than right there in the midst of all that gaia-earth-womyn-share feel-goodness? Well, for starters, I made a list.

1. Having a root canal (anesthesia optional).
2. Waiting in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
3. At lunch with a life insurance salesman.
4. Enduring "Dancing with the Stars".
5. Having minor back surgery.
6. Having major back surgery.
7. Donating bone marrow.
8. Having a spinal tap.
9. Heck, any major surgical procedure.
10. Attending the Man of the Year dinner for Cardinal Mahoney.
11. Trapped in a refrigerator.
12. Half-digested by a large shark.
13. Involved in a high-stakes poker game with Osama Bin Laden and six of his armed bodyguards.
14. Eating live bugs.
15. Shaking hands with Hillary Clinton (wait, that's TOO close to the alternative!).
16. Antarctica.
17. Richard Simmons' bachelor party.
18. Dangling from a railing at the top of the Empire State Building.
19. In an airplane bathroom.
20. In the middle of the L.A. riots.

Now, of course, these ladies could instead attend.............. A Catholic Mass!

But who am I to get in the way of dialogue?

Feel free to suggest your own personal safe havens from this sort of torture in the comments box.
Photo credits to Catholic Church Conservation. http://cathcon.blogspot.com/


Chris said...

On a Airplane with Martin Luther or John Calvin

thetimman said...

Good one-- that IS rough. Add engine failure to it, and it's a close call.

Patrick Kinsale said...

At this "liturgy":


Augusta said...

I can't stop laughing! I don't think I have any that could come close to topping your list...Maybe I would rather be...in the middle of Wal-mart at 5:00 p.m. with a screaming baby being glared at by the world's rudest associate with no personality...while the person in front of me can't figure out how to swipe their debit card...while they talk on their cell phone. Yep, that's mine. :-)
You know, you could just make this an ongoing post...10 more added each week... :-) Enjoying your sense of humor!

God Bless!

Chris said...


I think I threw Up in my mouth a little bit

thetimman said...

Patrick, whatever the prize is, you win it. Threw up in my mouth? No, it didn't stop there, I'm afraid.

MMajor Fan said...

Forced to watch The View in an Ugandan jail cell.