19 August 2008

Town Wednesday Anti-Talk Catholic


As my brother would say.  Or Anti-Catholic Town Talk Wednesday, for the rest of us.

This gem appears in the Wednesday South Side Journal (as always, spelling and syntax as in the original):

Cracking down on St. Stan

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH ought to practice what they preach for St. Stanislaus.  I thought Burke was gone, but now we got (Bishop Robert) Hermann doing the same.  It's all about greed and money.  What would Jesus do?  I know.  Does Lindell know?

Now the answer to this question might also be above my pay grade, but I felt that this thoughtful inquiry deserved to be investigated.  So, adopting my usual disguise to infiltrate the Chancery, I was able to rifle through some of Bishop Hermann's papers.

I found one document that might be relevant.  It appeared to be some kind of work order signed by the Archdiocesan Administrator.  The Communications Office was on high alert, so I had to photograph the original and leave it there.  In fact, I barely made it out alive, but that story will have to wait for the memoirs.

Anyway, here is what the document said:

To:  Supervisor, Maintenance
From: Bp. Hermann
Re:  Necessary Repairs 
Date:  06-27-08

!! Sensitive!!

The what-would-Jesus-do calculator appears to be completely nonfunctional.  As you may have been aware, this machine was never used during the previous administration-- the Archbishop only used the greed-and-money-meter to make important decisions, such as cracking down on St. Stan.  I admit, this beauty is in tip-top shape, and I'll have to make good use of it in the future I'm sure.  Burke's gone, but I'll be doing the same. After all, cracking down on St. Stan is fun.

But I digress.  We here on Lindell probably ought to know what Jesus would do, at least on some occasions.  Can you see if you can fix this thing?  Unless we can get it working, I'm afraid some astute local Catholic will figure out what Jesus would do before we're able to, and then he might leave some kind of embarrassing message on Town Talk.

Thanks for your help.

+(Bishop Robert) Hermann





6 comments:

Sandy said...

Funny stuff, thetimman.

I too read this gem in "Town Talk" and my first reaction was "What?" I read it again with the same result. What did this caller actually say? I'm still not sure. I know the general idea was to convey a negative opinion about the Church, Archbishop Burke and Bishop Hermann and support for the confused (I'm being generous) at St. Stanislaus, of course. But, clarity and any ability to be articulate was most definitely missing, rendering the comment nearly meaningless in intent.

At least it was a means to convey humor by thetimman, so it had merit in that regard.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the talk is anti-Catholic. Let them talk though. Their words cannot hurt us. Why do you let them get to you by posting things like this? Surely as Catholics insults like this should be ignored.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure there were many in Germany in 1933 who said, "Yes, the talk is anti-semitic. Their words cannot hurt us. Why do you let them get to you? Surely as Jews, insults like this should be ignored."

Peter said...

May we pray that God break through their (anti- Catholic's) stoney hearts and give them His Sacred Heart of Love and Truth to see what their hate is doing to His Church.

Anonymous said...

Their words cannot do anything to His Church. His Church is immortal as God is immortal and cannot be damaged any more than God Himself can be damaged.

As for the comment about the Jews, nobody is calling for the extermination of Catholics. Even if they did, we, as Catholics, are called to higher standards. We are called to pray for those who insult us. We are to respond to violence with a blessing. We can do this because we know God is infinitely powerful and will protect us because, as Catholics, we are His beloved children who He exalts above all other humans.

Anonymous said...

I disagree strenuously, anon 17:01. Hate is hate, and bigotry is bigotry. It should be shown for the poisonous thing it is, by whatever means (even humor and satire), and should not be tolerated. The next step from the socially tolerated or accepted expression of hatred for or bigotry against a given group is the socially tolerated or accepted act of violence against the group.