08 March 2009
Headlines I'd Like to See But Won't
HOLOCAUST CONTROVERSY BISHOP TO ATTEND BURROUGHS PROM
'These imps need a good crack on the head with a crozier," says the embattled Williamson.
PROGRESSIVE CATHOLICS RETIRE EN MASSE
"Nobody listened to us anyway," says McBrien, "and we got a good deal on a retirement village."
BOZEK'S BMW IMPOUNDED BY METROPOLITAN TOWING
"Burke behind this," says heroic visionary priest.
FINN NAMED NEW ARCHBISHOP OF SAINT LOUIS
Territory returned to its full former boundaries; other Missouri Bishops named auxiliaries in statewide super-Archdiocese
"Time for Bishops to do their canonically assigned jobs," says unnamed American prelate in Rome.