26 August 2009
Meatless Friday Tuesday, Part I
One of my favorite comments on any post is this one: "What does this have to do with a Catholic blog?" The usual answer is found in the masthead of this blog-- "unabashedly Catholic news and views". By this I mean that I am Catholic, I'm not abashed, and I have a view.
A friend of mine has often suggested that I start a regular feature called "Meatless Fridays", because sometimes it is fun to cover some topic that doesn't seem to quite fit the overall purpose of the blog. I have so far demurred, because I didn't want to limit myself to waiting for Fridays to post on oddball stuff, just in case.
Now I have a sensible solution. If my "unabashedly Catholic news and views" can be on any topic, why shouldn't "Meatless Friday" occur on any day of the week?
Therefore, welcome to Meatless Friday Tuesday.
Our subject today arose from a lunch conversation some friends and I were having about the Jeff Smith drama, and somebody who had seen the mockumentary "Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?" pointed out that the ubiquitous local political science professor Ken Warren appeared in the film. Another asked, "Who's Ken Warren?"
I replied, "Ken Warren is the Tamm Avenue overpass of political scientists."
This got me to thinking about the utter predictability of the St. Louis local media. Below is a list of some of the certainties of St. Louis local TV--
Death, Taxes, and...
1. If there is a campaign coverage segment, Ken Warren will be interviewed ("I brought my own microphone!").
2. If a flake of snow exists, or is rumored to come, the reporter at the bottom of the studio food chain will be standing on the Tamm Avenue overpass (This is typically accompanied by video footage of traffic humming smartly along Highway 40, followed by stock footage of salt trucks being filled with salt, circa 1978.).
3. In the above wintry situation, the second lowest reporter on the food chain will be reporting from the "panic aisle" of the Schnucks at Hampton Village (The bread! The milk! The Humanity!).
4. If the Archbishop takes a walk outside the chancery, SNAP media divas will be interviewed to the effect that the Archbishop is doing it all wrong, and that it hurts people's feelings ("I brought my own microphone!").
5. If there is a story about the stock market, Julie Niemann will be interviewed ("Don't you have your own microphone?").
6. Teresa Woodard will be surprised. VERY Surprised.
7. During the Summer, should the temperatures break 65 degrees Fahrenheit, the 57-minute weather report will be briefly interrupted by a report from the Tamm Avenue overpass reporter at some local community center urging people to leave the comfort of their homes to pile on cots in the air conditioned gymnasium at Webster Groves, and begging people, please, please get those pets out of your car! Now! NOW! (Typical footage on these stories--also circa 1978--includes children running through fire hydrant spray, and the dramatic, Lawrence-of-Arabia-straight-into-the-desert-sun shot.).
8. No matter what time the city hall, sports arena, office complex, police station, or store covered in any news story closes-- you will find the intrepid local reporter parked outside of it at 10:05 p.m. for a live shot, just in case it springs to life.
9. Dave Murray's Weather Spotlight has very little to do with weather, and doesn't really deserve a spotlight.
10. It's A.D. 2020, and Rene Knott is still trying to get a handle on this sports thing.
That's a start, anyway, and certainly not an exhaustive list. If you think of others, please feel free to add in the combox.