07 October 2010

Lambert to Use Porno-Scanners Starting Tomorrow

Just what is that suspicious ethnic man hiding under his headgear?
Ever on the tail end of societal trends, St. Louis International Airport will at last begin using the new full-body scanners starting tomorrow.  These scanners capture an image of a person's entire body, visible despite clothing.  All you have to do to board a private airplane is to sacrifice your human dignity.  But don't worry,  the government assures you that your privacy and dignity will be protected:
  • the image isn't really clear enough to be prurient
  • the government will never save the images; they are immediately discarded
  • no one will release your naked body images over the internet
  • these images will not be used for sins against the sixth and ninth commandments by workers
  • these scanners are optional; you can elect to be patted down instead
You can do your own google research to track down the horror stories of how these things really work; here is just one article on the privacy concerns.  And I haven't even covered potential health risks.  All of the assurances above are lies, except the last one-- although, be aware if you opt out of porno-screening that you just might get the "enhanced" pat down. 

How long, I wonder, until these scanners are mandatory for flying anywhere?

Just how important is it to fly to Cincinnati?  And, as Sharon asks, may the goal really be to make us not want to go anywhere at all?

3 comments:

KP said...

I've been dreading this. Guess we'll have to more seriously consider making road trips rather than flying. With all I do to be modest--even causing myself considerable discomfort and inconvenience at times--I'm not going through one of those. That's like being a vegetarian just to then eat the bacon thrown on your salad at a restaurant...except the scans can (and WILL) cause problems with teh 6th and 9th commandments.

Wimpie said...

You have the RIGHT to OPT-OUT.
Click on my name above or go to:
http://DontScan.me
for important safety and privacy information as well as actual images, not the propaganda that TSA is spewing.

Anonymous said...

Sacrilege, KP, sacrilege.

Bacon should never be compared to anything evil. In fact bacon is one of the few remaining things that is right in this world.

Take back what you said, right now.