28 April 2012

Wherein I Save My Dad's Lame-o Blog

Hello, all.  My name is Fem, oldest daughter of thetimman.  I also go by Flem, Clem, Nrem, Czrsychsem, and, basically, anything that rhymes with "Em".  

Why am I appearing as a guest commentator today?  After a series of lame-o posts, I decided he needed something exciting on his blog.  

Naturally, I thought of me.

My Dad asks my advice all the time.  Like, when he holds pocket 3s and someone raises pre-flop, should he fold?  The answer is always, "Yes."  Or when we're at the grocery store, and Mom's instructions were to buy Chili Magic, is Chili Man an acceptable alternative?  The answer is, "No. I spit upon your Chili Man!"

I have some great advice on how to improve this blog.  Take this post, for example.  Isn't it an improvement?  Well, my ideas don't stop there.  

This blog needs celebrities.  thetimman is a sub-lebrity, I suppose, but how about some real stars?  How come we never see a Cardinal Burke post here?  Or Benedict XVI?  Maybe Eduardo Verastegui won't mind posting here.  I mean, who didn't love "Bella"?  

This blog also needs free stuff.  Yes, I know the joy of reading thetimman's innermost thoughts is 100% free (unless you're reading this at work).  But really?  Lately, his thoughts have consisted of a has-been Canadian band that was popular in the '80s and Whit Stillman film reviews. 

How about a free "St. Louis Catholic" hoodie for everyone who posts 100 comments?  'Like' this blog on Facebook and get a snazzy bumper sticker to put on the back of your 15-passenger van.  It'll go great with the Ron Paul 2012 sticker back there.  

What about a contest to guess the thetimman's true identity?  Complete with a grand prize of never having to meet him (As he would say, "I kid because I love!").  ;-)

Or how about assigning some eager young Catholic as a Rome correspondent?  I'm sure there is some homeschooled teenage girl who wants a degree in Communications and would jump at the offer.  (Hint, hint.)

See, those are some great ideas.  Put your own in the combox.  Maybe he'll see them.  

Or he can just get back to writing every day.


Anonymous said...

All Joking aside - you would be a great blogger - perhaps for the youth, or for the "youth-at-heart." You have a great sense of humor. I vote for your dad to allow you to post.
I think your parents should consider a journalist stint in Rome. Alas, they may even offer a trip to Athens - Georgia.

V. Double

Anonymous said...

Perhaps one or more of the following:

-More frequent commentary from the famous UCLX
-Regular status check on JJR's dissertation
-Timman's succumbing to what we all know that Rush is the most overrated band


Delena said...

Flem needs her own blog. True story.

Anonymous said...

Rome correspondent?


ATW said...

Bravo, Flem!

I know of a young, aspiring communications major who would be interested in joining you in Rome.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I vote for regular status checks on JJR's dissertation. Maybe a photo or two of the scholar at Ted Drew's -oops! - I mean at work! Yeah! That's right, JJR! Work!!