11 May 2014

Remember to Flip That Coin Today!

I loved it when I read it, and just had to share it. From St. Corbinian's Bear:

Half of All Catholic Marriages to End Sunday

Cardinal Walter Kasper, acting on, he claims, secret orders from Pope Francis, instructed every Catholic couple to flip a coin before Mass Sunday before a priest to see if their marriage is valid. If tails, the marriage was invalid and the couple must go to confession before communion. More significantly, their marriage is automatically annulled.

"Is not such a big ding," the prelate said. "Dere is nutzing to keep dem from gettingzun married again if dey feel like it. But fur all dose couple fur whom der schpark is kaput, it is a vunderbar opportunity to trade up."

In other news, the Cardinal wed LCWR Executive Director Sr. Janet Mock at a small, but lavish ceremony at Las Vegas' well-known "The Little Church of the West." Cardinal Kasper said the name appealed to the couple for reasons they could not explain. When asked if the marriage violated current Church teachings on unmarried clergy and religious, the Cardinal laughed, and said, "Jah, I suppose it is so. But mein Freund Francis told me vas okay. In private. Und he probably does not remember."

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