27 January 2015

Meatless Snowday, Snowless Edition

A number of observations on the non-event that was the predicted New York City "Snowpocalypse", based upon my razor-sharp brain mulling over the events of recent history:

1)  I believe the forecast for New York City this week was to receive something like 75 feet of snow, with temperatures hovering around -50 F. The weathermen (yes, I said men) climbed atop their doppler radar dishes to warn the victims of NY that if they stepped outside for one second their children would instantly die.  As it turned out, not so much.  But that didn't stop the people and the government of the nation's largest metropolis to collectively curl up into the fetal position and await The End.

2)  A similar response and media-generated panic occurred when Pope John Paul II made his pastoral visit to St. Louis in 1999. There was an absence of snow, that this caused sadness among all local newscasters, as there was no need to stand on the Tamm Avenue overpass and predict mass deaths from the storm, whether that meant traffic accidents or a shortage of Bunny Bread at Schnucks or what-may-you.  The JPII event was a welcome substitute, however.  Predictions of Trafficocalypse caused similar warnings and yielded similar results.  The Post-Dispatch remembered it recently this way

Remember more than 14 years ago, when the late Pope John Paul II visited St. Louis? Police and traffic planners warned that drivers who parked their cars on surrounding interstates would have those cars towed. MetroLink stations would be packed to Fair St. Louis proportions. All this because traffic was supposed to be bumper-to-bumper. That traffic never materialized. People steered clear. And the “popemobile” rolled through mostly empty streets in downtown St. Louis.

In fact, the streets were so desolate it looked like Downtown at 10 p.m. on a normal Friday night (Zing! I kid because I love!).  Bonus points to any reader who still has an "I survived the JPII traffic jam and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" souvenir.  

3) Speaking of snowstorms, it wasn't that long ago, in 2010, that a snowstorm caused the NFL to cancel a football game in Philadelphia.  Yes, a pro football game was cancelled for snow. It's common knowledge that snow football is the best! The cancellation prompted this wonderful rant from Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell-- a Democrat, for Pete's sake:

"My biggest beef is that this is part of what's happened in this country," Rendell said. "I think we've become wussies. ... We've become a nation of wusses. The Chinese are kicking our butt in everything. If this was in China do you think the Chinese would have called off the game? People would have been marching down to the stadium, they would have walked and they would have been doing calculus on the way down."

Brilliant.  BTW, why does the NFL get such attention, anyway?

4) Can anyone tell me, why does a prediction of snow override the Constitution, and allow restrictions on the freedom of assembly? The Government has truly become our father, our Big Brother, our master.  I'm scared!  Please, big government, protect me!

5)  Thank goodness we live in such times of safety.  I suppose the Battle of Trenton, when the Freemasonic forces of liberty attacked the forces of the illegitimate Protestant pretender to the throne of England on the feast of Our Lord's Birth, would never have happened today.  Then where would we be?  They hate us for our freedoms! Right? Is snow a terrorist weapon?


ATW said...

Slick Eddie was also a former mayor of Philadelphia.

Siderúrgico said...

I love #5

Anonymous said...

Exactly why do you stay in the United States. You clearly hate it here. Mary

thetimman said...

Because it's so great!

Anonymous said...

Say something great about it. I've never seen you do so. Mary

thetimman said...

The people are more independent and open than in most other countries I've visited. They want to be a great nation, and thus hold up an historical ideal of what they think America is or was. It is a land richly blessed by God in terms of beauty, bounty, and common sense.

The blemishes are real, but that doesn't mean I don't love my country. One would notice a wart on the Mona Lisa before more serious blights on a modern painting, for instance.