But please forgive this pre-Christmas interruption of bah-humbugitude as I sing of Candy Cane Lane...
You might or might not recall from this post from years back that my homestead is not exactly in step with the Christmas decoration schedule of the rest of the neighborhood. You can read all about it there, but in a nutshell, we try to keep Advent in Advent and Christmas in Christmas. Hilarity ensues, with our creepy purple Advent lights up for most of December, and Christmas lights blazing in solitude in late January.
Well, things in the neighborhood have only intensified over the years. STLToday ran a story today on "must see" light displays. There, along with major displays at the brewery, zoo, Shaw's Garden, Our Lady of the Snows, and Tilles Park, St. Louis Hills' own Candy Cane Lane has its place:
It started out simply enough, as the article says. But I don't mean the decorations. I mean the traffic.
Imagine the Ted Drewes parking lot after a Cardinals game in July, and substitute an automobile for every person. All on one street.
Except it isn't one street.
Obviously, a car of well-meaning people out for a gander at Christmas lights has to get into the neighborhood. So do many, many others. It creates gridlock. And, since Candy Cane Lane is about 300 feet long, it occurs to these drivers who came from who-knows-where to maybe drive around the neighborhood to see if there are any more cool lights...
And you know what? There are! Candy Cane Lane, much like a serial killer, has spawned copycats. Perhaps the biggest contender is the derivatively-named Snowflake Street (not Snowflake Lane as the article says. Alliteration!). Juuuuust close enough to Candy Cane Lane to ensure that your wife won't make it to the hospital on time to deliver your 38th child. How these neighbors managed it I don't know, because there are houses only on one side of the street. They have appropriated the fence surrounding the school on the other side though. Blinking, frenzied lights that seem to scream "Girls! Girls! Girls!"
Actually, this rather lovely neighborhood has always been festively lit for Christmas (you know, the time before Christmas), so there is plenty to see. Including the insane inflatable man south of the park, who inhabits his own Kingdom of the Seasonably Tacky.
My brother, when he found out the topic of this post, said something like this: "I think its really great that a group of neighbors can come together to do something in the spirit of Christmas that is so unifying and fun. Maybe its a little zealous, but I think its great."
You guessed it: he doesn't live in the neighborhood.
Thanks, STLToday, for the publicity.
I always knew I would one day be glad of my survival food and water stash. I just didn't know why. I'll be emerging from the bunker on January 2, when it will all be gone. Who knows? With the warm weather, the Christmas lights might not last through St. Stephen's. I can do this.
Merry Christmas, everyone!