07 July 2016
Bourbon-Dipped Twinkies, or, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Chatting in the Church basement after Mass can lead to all sorts of solutions to life's problems. This past Sunday, when trying to decide how to handle one of life's latest outrages, a friend suggested that I eat a Twinkie. Another friend was quick to respond that I tend to find solace in the occasional bourbon instead.
Then it hit me: I need to eat a Twinkie soaked in bourbon.
I'm writing this now for posterity. First, I want you to be assured that this plan was concocted while sober. Second, I wanted to memorialize the decision in case this experiment causes me to go blind, or crazy, or slip into a coma from which there is no return.
I plan to "live-blog" this event as it happens, but I don't really know what "live-blog" means. Possibly, the results written in real time might not be all that sensible.
"Why, thetimman? Why? Why do this?" Because someone has to.
And don't bother me with your southern funk recipes of fried bourbon-soaked Twinkies. I'm not aiming for faux-gourmet here. I want immediate and unmediated scientific results.